"Jealousy, you tripped me up
jealousy, you brought me down".
I've certainly felt jealousy before, (who hasn't), but for some reason, the concept was really rolling around in my mind today; I've been thinking and analyzing it, as I am prone to over think from time to time. To think, that this intangible thing, this experience, or emotion, which comes entirely from within, can be so destructive, so powerful. So yeah, I think it's worth giving some time and thought to. Some things occured to me about this evil little J word.
One is the relationship between jealousy and insecurity. I'm not sure if it's that jealousy comes from things that tap into one's insecurities, or, if it's that insecurities breed jealousy. For me, there are a few key jealousy-provoking things that bring my insecurities up to the surface. News of someone else's accomplishment or good fortune can make one feel really small and insignificant in comparison. In moments of jealousy, it's easy to be focused with what others have or have done, and the awareness of one's own accomplishments or possessions get lost in the insecurity. This can be really destructive if you don't have a healthy sense of who you are and what you're really grateful for. Truly, even if you have these things, jealousy can and still will present some challenges.
Then there's the relationship between jealousy and fear; and maybe this goes along the same lines as insecurity. When we find out about someone else's accomplishments, we can be easily jealous of them; just have this sort of negativity directed their way, rather than being happy for them. But probably what's really going on is that news of someone else's accomplishment brings about fears that we'll never be able to do the same thing. Maybe that jealousy we have towards someone else is really just a way to mask that fear. I think this was the case for me earlier in the week, when I got study guides in the mail for the LCSW exam I'm going to take in a few months. Looking through some of the topics in the guide, I found names of people and concepts that I'd never even heard of in grad school, and I found myself getting really jealous of other people I know who've passed this exam. But, really, after thinking about it, it comes down to my fear of not being able to pass and add these four letters after my name at work.
I'm sure for some, jealousy can be a positive thing; you could turn it into a motivator to do or get something that you desire in life. I haven't personally gotten to that point yet, but, who knows. Anyone out there have any thoughts?
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| 'Jealousy" is from Queen's 1979 album Jazz. It was written by Freddie Mercury. It's pretty hard to imagine that that guy had anything to be jealous of, but I'm sure he did. |
3 comments:
I feel that jealousy is mostly about fear of some sort or another. You hit the nail on the head though when you said that insecurities play a role in breeding jealousy;also it serves as a mask for fear. You can get so wrapped up in being the hater and put so much energy into that that you forget your own goals..forget your own power to succeed.
I have been there, I remember preparing for the exam, terrified and feeling like an outsider because at that time I was the only clinician who was NOT licensed. The sleepless nights and hours and hours of self-doubt. Use the J word to work for you, motivate you. You have skills beyond measure. I have hated the periods of time where I have felt jealous, and you are right, it was fear, sometimes loneliness. But we move on and hopefully we learn to be more aware so that in the future when we are on the other side we can support our friends and be able to comfort them. I think that’s the lesson we need to take from those experiences.
I have been feeling a lot of this jealousy thing lately. My husband and I both made resolutions this year to get in better shape.. . While I did what I always do and half assed it and got hardly anywhere, he put a lot of work into getting healthy and is now 25 pounds lighter and running 6.5 in 52 minutes. I am jealous. I hate putting it into words because I know that if I only put my mind to it and worked hard like he has , I could do it. But I didn’t. Now I feel self-conscious that he weighs less than I do (by almost 15 pounds) and looks great. It makes me sad because I have never ever felt like this before… Now I am jealous and wishing I could melt the pounds away. I hate being the fat wife.
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